I was raised on light beer and whiskey cheap and rough, Jim Beam bourbon made me puke — I'd just had enough. The beer gets too heavy, the brown liquor makes me shiver. Tequila found its permanent way into my heart and into my liver.

I learned to drink it right from my Mexican friends, Down where a warm desert evening never quite ends. "Always frío," they told me, "amigo, keep it cold — No salt and no lime, that's for little kids, not the bold."

My go-to is Casamigos, a reposado on ice, The Liquor Box orders me half gallons — Sunny & Jay treat me nice. I'll sip it on the rocks & have it with my meals. Just don't ever ask me to drink it with training wheels.

The best I've had, about three years in the past, Was Maestro Dobel 50 — a cristalino built to last. In Puebla, Mexico, my amigos poured me a taste, And that smooth, clear perfection's a memory I won't waste.

A few years back 1800 caught my attention glass after glass, And the holiday gift box came with somethin' that had some class: A laser-cut taco holder — I handed a bunch to my amigos, Still got a dozen at home, and I use 'em for everything but tacos.

At home it's simple, I mix it however I please: Diet Dew and tequila, they go down with ease. If it's too late for caffeine, Gatorade is used in place of Dew. A Hillbilly Margarita is what you need to do.