I needed two wood tables - How hard could it be? AI gave me a drawing set, plus YouTube on TV. The plans were damn near perfect—every number right The problem was the fool who tried to read them every night

Bought oak down at Menards like my dad used to do Bought walnut from Sequin's—contractors shop there too I never owned a planer, then I learned a painful fact— Walnut comes in Pringles shapes, and none of it is flat

My old miter saw was thirty and needed to be retired It wasn't big enough to make the cuts that were required So I bought a shiny Skilsaw, red and gray and new 'Cause when a man has no skill, more tools will have to do

Bought TikTok clamps and squares while scrolling late one night A Pony bench from Amazon - got lucky that was alright My new DeWalt sander hid many of my mistakes Ten hours of final grinding is all it really takes

I spent three days on one hinge and nearly fried my brain I bought four different versions—I nearly went insane After three failures and tequila, here's the thought I got: I bought a soft-close hinge and said, "Nice work there, Scott"

My project ended up looking better than I'd feared A slow start, a fine finish- just like I'd engineered I earned about five bucks an hour, counting every sin But Kathleen loves those tables, so I'm calling that a win