She never had a steady job, no patience for the grind She's always been self-employed—the entertaining kind No résumé, no references, no kissing corporate knobs She never worked nine-to-five; she's just really good at blowjobs.

She wears her clothes too goddamn tight beneath that bright red light "The dress ain't meant to fit," she says, "it pays the rent tonight" She's easy like Sunday morning, like the song from Commodores She wears that slutty uniform that got passed down from older whores

She'll fuck your husband, boyfriend, boss—she might've fucked your dad Your uncle grinned and said, "She's the best friend I ever had" Your aunt said, "Back in college…" then stopped and shook her head Now everybody's wondering what she almost fucking said

"I'm no whore, I'm an enthusiast," she told me with a grin "My morals are negotiable—what price range are we in?" "I'm aggressively approachable," she said, "you understand?" I said, "That's quite a slogan—get that printed on a van!"

She can suck a golf ball through a garden hose Home Depot banned her for life - so the story goes When asked about golf, she said, "I've never learned the sport" "But half the country club helped me pay my child support"